Monday, September 12, 2011

Landon Lines...and Why? Grayson Why?

Raising boys is certainly my calling. I have to thank my brothers for teaching me the ropes and, for the most part, preparing me to handle the daily ins and outs of boys.

Landon "It is about three five nine thirty."

Grayson likes to drink the bathwater. Don't judge, you're not allowed to duct tape children's mouths shut while they take a bath.

Landon "Gross Grayson. You just drank booty water." Little does he know

Landon "Mom, I can feel your waist and it is getting bigger and bigger." Guess I will go to the gym.

Grayson likes to help put on his lotion and then licks it off of his hands. I let him, thinking he will hate the taste and the natural consequence will work. WRONG! He just asks "mor peese"

Landon says after slamming his face into the corner of the table. "Mom come quick. Look what I did to the table. I left a tiny dent in it. I just earned 50,000 man points." Mommy thinks, "You actually earned the points from the shiner you just gave yourself, but if you think it is because you dented the table, we'll go with it."

Grayson likes to eat the chalk. He then cries and attempts to spit it out and looks at me with an angry expression as if to say "Why is this gross chalk in my mouth?" I look at him the the expression that says "Someday you'll catch on."

Landon "When I grow up I am going to be a rock star, secret spy, police man."

Grayson likes to eat crayons. It is a good look on him. Very colorful smile.

Landon watched "The Little Rascals" and especially liked Uh-hu. He says to me the other night as I am tucking him into bed. "Hey Uh-hu." Mommy replies, "Uh-hu." "Let's read one more story before bedtime?" Mommy says "Uh-hu." Then I realize I have just been outsmarted by a 4 year old.

Grayson loves to brush his teeth and then drag around the toothbrush to clean the rest of the house too. He now owns two toothbrushes.

Landon says the other night, "Mom, loosers suck." Mommy "What did you just say?" L, "I said loosers suck." Mommy "Where did you hear that?" L, "The Little Rascals." Mommy thinks that was probably not a good movie to show her own little rascal.

Grayson likes to take out the baby wipes, wipe the top of the changing table, and then put the baby wipe in his mouth. He smiles like he is so proud. I am starting to think his taste buds are a little off.

AND for the best line lately.... "Hey mom. I peed in your shower when the water wasn't on."
Mommy thinks "That is the funniest thing I have heard in a long time and where is my bleach?"